Fond memories trigger feelings deep within our hearts, bringing us joy and satisfaction. They enhance our lives and strengthen our faith. However, memories aren’t always joyful when we choose to remember the wrongs we have experienced. Past hurts can take on “lives of their own.” From our first reading from the Book of Sirach we hear: “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.” When that happens, hurt becomes the focus, and anger washes away any chance to forgive. Some people go through life “pressing their bruises.” They refuse to let injuries heal, and often find comfort or moral security in refusing to forgive past hurts.
Tragically, any exploration of the importance of forgiveness is too large a topic for one reflection, one book, and maybe one lifetime. All who struggle with the task of forgiveness will find that tackling the problem from the view of Peter in today’s Gospel, only engages us in a numbers game asking and granting pardon one spoonful at a time. “Lord, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” While Peter thought his question more than reasonable, the way Jesus forgives is never reasonable, and it is by his standard alone that we are to measure our own obligation to forgive. Remember Jesus’ response: “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.”
The Christian hallmark of all sinners is the obligation to forgive. That responsibility triggers our resolve to be merciful to those who have hurt us because a merciful God has forgiven us. Forgiveness is never easy. It requires continual faith, effort, determination and growth. Yet, if we remember the breadth of our own tragic faults and the generosity of divine mercy, we may find ourselves willing to extend forgiveness to others far beyond seven times. When we choose forgiveness over revenge, and love over hate, we glimpse God’s creative goodness reshaping us, because “forgiveness is a participation in the very heart of God.” [Richard Leonard, SJ, Preaching to the Converted, Paulist Press, P. 97.]
Jewish law demanded forgiveness only be extended to another three times. On the fourth time, forgiveness need not be granted. When Peter asked Jesus about seven times, he thought himself extremely generous. He may have reasoned: “I’ll double the legal requirement and add one more for good measure, (knowing that his culture considered seven a perfect number making seven an excellent response.) What a shock when the answer came back, “seventy-seven times,” which means there is no limit to the number of times. To that measure we have been forgiven, and that must be the measure of our forgiveness. The unlimited gift of forgiveness granted by God sets in motion a process of conversion and transformation, such that those who are wronged become more God-like in their forgiving of others.
When God’s love reaches our hearts, we can either block its flow refusing to forgive, or allow it to flow through us and impact our world. Forgiveness is about the future, not the past. Not being able to forgive allows the future to be determined by past events. Then, nothing can occur but more of the same. All of us grapple with past angers that flood our lives and challenge our wills to forgive. The simple truth is that our father loves and forgives us all without limits. We in turn pray: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” It’s a package deal; you don’t get one without the other. ----Deacon Wilson Shierk